


Fleeting

by 99woodz



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Pining, Unrequited Love, except we only get hangyul's perspective, for all we know seungyoun may be pining just as hard, is this how you do tags?, mentions of cheating, not beta read because i'm a lazy bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-04 22:36:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20478593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/99woodz/pseuds/99woodz
Summary: Hangyul thinks he shouldn't want the way that Seungyoun whispers meaningless nothings into his ear or the way his eyes become moon shaped crescents when he laughs. He definitely knows that he shouldn't expect anything more from whatever their relationship is.Yet, he also knows that Seungyoun's kisses are like a drug; highly addictive and always leaving you crawling back for more.





	Fleeting

Their time is fleeting. It comes in the form of hushed whispers. Fingers tracing sweaty skin. Pillow talk in post-sex hazes.

That sort of fleeting.

Yet Hangyul can’t help but want more. Can’t help the need to leave bruises that show how badly he wants Seungyoun to be his despite the elder’s dismissals of what they have as “purely physical”. Can’t help but draw out the way Seungyoun whimpers his name during sex. Can’t help stealing kisses in unlocked dressing rooms five minutes before a performance. Can’t help the lust and need in his eyes every time Seungyoun so much as breathes onto his skin in public.

But he supposes he can’t help the tight feeling in his chest whenever Seungwoo giggles into Seungyoun’s chest either. Or the way that Wooseok’s gaze lingers on Seungyoun after sweaty dance practices. Hell, he can’t even stop the the way that Yohan clings to Seungyoun’s every word with stars in his eyes. 

The same stars that can be mirrored in his own eyes he supposes. The stars that fade every time he wakes up to an empty bed. The stars that fade due to broken promises.

Broken promises to stay away and that what they have isn’t right; that they should stop and that this will be the last time. Broken promises that he’s the only one in their friends with benefits deal – he sees the way Seungyoun drags their leader to the bathroom with the same dark eyes he knows far too well. Broken promises that make his heart ache when he hears the same hushed whispers meant only for him coming from their Wooseok's room. 

Yet, Hangyul gravitates to Seungyoun regardless. Gravitates to the playful remarks Seungyoun makes in passing. Gravitates to the way Seungyoun smiles at him as if he’s the only thing that he needs. Gravitates to his adventurous tendencies at unspeakable hours of the night. Gravitates to the way Seungyoun grazes those calloused fingers tips over his skin as if he were made of glass.

Hangyul spends his days dwelling on his futile efforts of getting over Seungyoun and his nights moaning the elder’s name with the resolution to get over his feelings before he gets hurt even further the following morning. Though the second Seungyoun reaches for his arm murmuring the word “stay” in his post orgasm glow Hangyul feels his resolve crumble and the cycle continues. 

He can’t bring himself to hate Seungyoun because he can only blame himself for agreeing to their arrangement. He can only blame himself for believing the vocalist’s initial claims that what they had was a good idea. That it wouldn’t affect their existing relationship. That the stolen kisses meant he might feel the same. 

After all, that’s what he gets for seeking more from someone who’s already taken and agreeing to be their dirty little secret. 

That’s what he gets for falling in love with someone who could never truly be his.

**Author's Note:**

> to think that in all my years of being a fangirl it's seungyul (and x1 in general) that pushed me into posting a fic
> 
> 1 am post-shower musings i guess? i mean figured i'd water the seungyul tag for my own sake instead of being productive with uni work and hurt both fictional hangyul and myself in the process. oops? 
> 
> feel free to yell at me on [twt](https://twitter.com/99woodz) or cry over seungyul with me, though i cant guarantee that i won't spam your feed with retweets because i'm unoriginal like that


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